Together through this
by Amora Risa
Summary: After witnessing Hiccup grieving for his father, Toothless feels guilty and decides to leave. ONE-SHOT.


**"TOGETHER THROUGH THIS"**

Stoick the Vast was dead.

And nothing in the world could change that. No matter how many times Hiccup had cried, no matter how many mornings he had woken up wishing everything was just a bad dream, no matter how many nights he thought he had heard his heavy footsteps in the house.

Astrid had been very compassionate to him. She wasn't particularly a tender person, but since the death of his father she was trying to be more affectionate to Hiccup. Hugs even tighter, without punches, more sweet kisses on his cheek and her hand softly caressing his in their quiet moments. She may not had the most eloquent words to comfort him, but her presence said it all. Sitting right beside him, her head tilted in his shoulder, was all he ever needed after a long day full of duties he had not gotten used to.

Astrid would often help him with his new responsibilities as chief, or even replace him when he was exhausted. She sounded harsh every time she would tell him to go to sleep in the middle of the day. But Hiccup knew she cared. She was worried he couldn't sleep at night. And she was there. Ready every time to fill in, decisive and dynamic. Hiccup knew that she was the person he wanted to stand next to as a chief and as a man, for the rest of his life.

He had never imagined that being a chief could be so difficult. His father made it look so simple. He knew he could never be like him, only try. But would that ever be enough?

He always had in the back of his mind that he would become the chief one day, but he imagined himself a little older and surrounded by his father's wise guidance. However, his every-day failures proved greatly that he was not Stoick. He wasn't a chief, he was just a child.

Those thoughts were filling his head and nothing could wipe them away. Not even Valka, with her encouraging stories about his young father being exactly like him, not even her delicious meals and her hot beverages to keep Hiccup warm in the cold night.

Hiccup knew she was doing everything she could. After all, she was grieving too. But it was still too early for them. No matter how much Hiccup adored her, he had to admit that sometimes he felt like she was a total stranger.

And then there was Toothless. He could get him like no one else. He was the one he was spending most of his time with. Oh, how he loved to escape Berk and ride his Night Fury among the skies! Their rides were something magical. As long as they were flying, Hiccup felt like nothing else existed. Only the cold wind in his face. Only the orange and purple clouds and the golden sunset in the horizon. Only the wild waves and the sea's breath, every time they were flying right above it and he would touch the water with his bare hand. Only him and Toothless.

And somehow he had the strangest feeling that when they would land back on Berk, his dad would be there waiting for him. Everything would be back to normal.

When they would fly, Hiccup forgot all of his responsibilities. Forgot all the nightmares. Forgot all the tears he had shed. Forgot his grief and his pain. But it never lasted long.

Their rides were much longer now. They could last whole hours. Sometimes Hiccup wouldn't notice that his dragon was tired. He would apologize and they would return immediately. But Toothless never complained. As if he didn't want to take these precious moments away from him.

But despite all these distractions, sometimes the pain was unbearable. That was one of those nights.

He got up from his bed silently, grabbing his warm tunic, and found his way to the door, making sure not to wake his mother or Toothless up.

The woods always frightened him, especially in the night with only the moon's light, but lately he had found in them a peaceful refuge when he wanted to be alone.

He sat by the lake, that very lake where Toothless was hiding in the beginning of their friendship. That very lake Astrid had first kissed him. This place meant a lot to him.

He didn't know how long he was sitting there before he heard some careful dragon steps approaching him.

"Hey, bud! Why did you follow me here?" he asked trying to smile.

The Night Fury sat beside him and placed his large head on his knees.

"You should be sleeping. And it's pretty cold. I don't want you to freeze. You should head back home" he said and tried to lift his heavy head up and push him away, but the stubborn dragon wouldn't leave him.

Hiccup sighed and rolled his emerald eyes.

"You never listen, do you?" he said while rubbing his neck and big ears.

They then leaned back and laid on the grass, looking at the stars. Hiccup grabbed something from his pocket. It was a chain necklace with a small wooden sculpture of Berk, which used to belong to Stoick. He observed it once more under the moonlight and then kept it tight on his chest. Toothless leaned in to take a look.

"It was my father's" he explained.

His sad gaze turned to the sky.

"Do you think he is somewhere there?" he wondered pointing at the stars.

Toothless let out a sad groan and noticed the tears in the boy's eyes. With one swift move, he got on top of Hiccup and started licking his face cheerfully, wanting to make him happy.

"No, no, Toothless! Enough!" Hiccup tried to stop him, not at all in a playful mood, but not angry either.

Toothless didn't obey and continued licking him, before grabbing with his teeth and taking off his prosthetic leg and moving it around, provoking him to chase after him and engage in a playful fight.

But soon the dragon's smile disappeared when Hiccup's expression got more serious, yet loving, and he said with a hoarse voice:

"Not now, bud. It's not a good time".

Toothless lowered his head and slowly returned the leg to Hiccup.

But before the boy could reconnect it, he suddenly burst out in tears.

The Night Fury had never seen him like that, so helpless, gasping and trembling.

Hiccup held the necklace even tighter to his heart and his tears were running like waterfalls.

The dragon stood frozen for a few moments, unsure of how he should react, and then ran to him, with tears in his own huge dragon eyes too.

"I am not ready for this" Hiccup said through his sobs, placing his arms around his dragon's neck. "It's too much for me. I… I can't take it!"

He then realized that Toothless was crying too. He held him ever so close and buried his face into his neck.

It was the first time Hiccup had cried like that. He had been trying to control himself, determined to be strong, not overwhelmed by sadness. He wasn't a little boy anymore! Chiefs don't cry!

Over the past month, teardrops were often running down his cheeks, but that was as far as he had allowed himself to go. What if someone saw him cry? What if his father could see his precious heir being so weak and sensitive? Chiefs lead, they don't mourn!

Hiccup remembered how strong Stoick was after he thought he had lost Valka. He wasn't lost in grief, no. He led their people. How could Hiccup follow his example? Everything around him was falling apart. He couldn't be strong, not strong enough to rule Berk. He was always going to be in his father's shadow. But he had to try to be like him as much as he could. He wasn't supposed to cry!

But now, shedding his tears in Toothless' hug, none of those thoughts mattered. He had the right to be weak! Maybe chiefs were allowed to cry after all.

He felt so much pain, as if every burden of the world was onto him. And yet, he also felt something else: freedom. Not like the freedom he felt when he was riding Toothless, when he thought he was away from all of his problems. One of a different kind. Like his tears were deliberating him. Like he was truly being himself, doing finally what he really wanted. He knew that nothing had actually changed, however he felt better. And that feeling wasn't anywhere near as making him forget his pain, but it was a small relief, one small step closer to overcoming it.

He couldn't tell for how long he continued crying, until without realizing it he fell asleep.

Toothless gently carried him back to his house. He carefully placed him on his bed and covered him with the warm sheets. He stayed there for a while just looking at him, now serene and so precious.

The sad and guilty Night Fury touched gently Hiccup's hand with his nose, just like the first time he had ever done all those years ago. And then, quietly he left the house, believing it would be the last.

The morning came.

Hiccup felt really dizzy, but staying in bed wasn't an option.

He realized he was sleeping with his boot on, but before he could find it strange, he remembered what had happened in the night and wondered how he got to his house.

"Good morning, honey" Valka smiled at him when he got to the kitchen. "Will you grab something to eat?"

"Thanks, I'm not hungry. Have you seen Toothless?"

"Is he not in his bed? I don't think he is up" Valka replied while washing some dishes with left-overs.

"No, he's not here. You didn't hear him leave earlier, right?"

"No, I don't think so. Actually, I'm a heavy sleeper" she chuckled. "Why don't you check the barn? Perhaps he wanted to play with the baby dragons again".

"Yeah, that makes sense. Especially since I don't play with him lately" he said in a low tone.

He walked to the barn, avoiding many upset villagers who sought his opinion on various affairs, but his Night Fury wasn't there.

"Okay, that's strange" he said and thought that maybe Astrid's house was where he could find him.

His girlfriend had really grown on the dragon. It was her who would often feed him or wash him now that Hiccup was occupied with other duties.

He ran to her house and knocked impatiently at her door several times.

"Astrid, have you seen Toothless?" he asked nervously.

"Good morning to you too" the sleepy girl replied with a yawn.

"Sure, good morning, but have you seen him?" he tried to be as calm as she, but failed miserably.

"No. Did you lose him?"

"He wasn't there when I woke up. I have looked everywhere!" he replied really worried.

"Well, relax. I am sure he's somewhere around here" she said patting his shoulder.

"Something's off. It's not like Toothless to just disappear!"

"Maybe he's just hiding to avoid his responsibilities as chief. Oh no, wait, that's you!" she giggled and poked him teasingly.

"Haha, very funny, miss" Hiccup said, not overly entertained. "I'm serious. He could be in danger".

"He's a Night Fury, you dummy! In case you have forgotten. He can take care of himself. "

"Astrid, he can't even fly alone! I must find him. Can I please borrow Stormfly to search for him?"

"Yeah, of course. But I suggest we wait, there's no need to panic".

"I don't know, I just have a bad feeling. Thank you, see you later" he gave her a hasty kiss in the cheek and rushed off to Stormfly.

The view from above did not enlighten him either.

Berk was not a large island, and the possibility that Toothless left it was out of the question since he couldn't fly alone. So, where in the world was he?

Hiccup knew the island well, and moreover knew where his dragon liked to hang around. It was either the lake they had been to last night or a cave in the forest which they have made their fortress and kept many things of theirs. But neither seemed to serve as the Night Fury's hiding place.

"Toothless! Come on, bud! Where are you?" he kept shouting after almost an hour of searching.

There was not a trace of him.

"Oh, for Odin's sake! When I find you, I'll kill you!" he murmured annoyed, as if having to worry for a whole village wasn't enough! He had to babysit a restless dragon with hiding tendencies!

Time passed by and all of his efforts were in vain. And Stormfly was really tired. He thought that maybe they should go back, maybe Toothless had returned from wherever he was and was expecting him.

But just when he was ready to turn around and leave, his eyes caught a glimpse of a black object moving in the forest.

"This better be you, bud" he whispered half frustrated, half worried, and led Stormfly to that direction.

The black moving object (hopefully a dragon) was lost for a few moments.

"Hey, Toothless! There you are!" Hiccup shouted when his black body appeared and he made out his characteristics. "I have been—Hey, where are you going?"

There was something wrong. The dragon had undoubtedly seen him and heard him. And he ran away!

"Stormfly, after him! Fast!" he commanded the tired dragon.

Competing with a Night Fury, one of the fastest dragons, seemed impossible at first, but then again Stormfly was exceptionally trained by Astrid, and Toothless couldn't fly well on his own.

It was an exhausting chase, with Toothless trying to run as way from Hiccup as he could, but eventually they cornered him in a dead end surrounded by rocks. There was no escape for him there. He lowered his head in defeat, reluctant to look at his trainer, heavily panting.

Stormfly landed behind him and the look on Hiccup's face said it all: he was not amused with that race.

"What do you think you are doing, mister? You think it's funny? Playing hide and seek? Leaving the village without anyone knowing? You know you can't fly alone! I am very- oh, no!" he sighed scared when he noticed that one of his legs was injured.

He ran to him, all of his anger now gone, only worry left.

"Bud, you are bleeding! Oh, this might be serious! Come on, let's go back home and take care of this. Do you have the strength to do it? We will fly very slowly and make many stops along the way. We will discuss everything later" he said and tried to climb his back and ride him.

But Toothless wouldn't let him. And not only that, but he started to walk away from him.

"Toothless! What is wrong with you? Where are you going?"

The Night Fury continued his course despite the boy's desperate voice calling him back.

"Are you… Do you want to… run away from me?" he asked, unable to believe what he was suggesting.

Then the dragon looked back and faced him with the saddest look and tears on his face. That broke the boy's heart.

"Toothless? What is it?" he said gently.

He approached the dragon and caressed his troubled face, but Toothless immediately pulled away.

"Are you mad at me? Have I done anything to hurt you? Because if that's so, it was certainly not my intention to -".

The dragon interrupted him with a right and left movement of his head stating "no".

"Then why? Why are you doing this?" he begged for an answer.

After a sad groan, Toothless' nose touched Hiccup's pocket. The one his father's chain was in.

"Oh, bud!" he exclaimed and held him tighter than ever.

The dragon at first seemed to want to get out of the embrace, but soon gave in and put his legs around the boy tightly, like the time he had saved him.

"Toothless, it's not your fault. I know you loved him and you would never hurt him. You must not feel guilty".

The dragon grunted, refusing to agree with the boy.

"Sometimes I feel guilty too" he continued, relieved he had finally admitted it out loud and ashamed too. "But he wouldn't want that. He just wants us to move on. Together".

Hiccup pulled himself back from the hug so to look right into his dragon's big melancholic eyes.

"You know you are always free to leave. I don't own you. I can't command you. But I need you". His voice was soft. He whispered it again: "I need you".

Toothless tensed face relaxed when Hiccup cupped his giant cheeks with his trembling hands.

"Bud, I can't go through this without you. Please, don't leave. I know that you think that it's for my own good, but it really isn't. You are my best friend". He repeated the phrase he had said to him while his mind was under control: "My best friend".

A weak smile was timidly forming in Toothless' face.

"Come back with me".

Hiccup didn't need to say anything else.

The dragon pushed the boy to the ground and jumped on top of him, disgustingly licking him and punching him softly.

Surprised at first, but overwhelmed by joy, Hiccup welcomed his affection and didn't even consider protesting.

A jealous Stormfly soon joined their childish activity. And during these precious moments, something wonderful happened. Hiccup felt he was as far from his pain as he had ever been. Their laughter filled the air and Hiccup thought that maybe Astrid and Valka could hear them all the way from the village. As for his dad, he was sure he was listening.

When they got too tired from fighting and sitting on top of each other, they returned back to the village. And Toothless knew he would never leave his boy again.


End file.
